Combining the Patterns

In paragraph 8, Staples uses cause and effect to demonstrate what goes "into the making of a young thug." Would several examples have better explained how a youth becomes a thug?

Several examples would not have better explained how a youth becomes a thug. There is no particular way or step that teaches one to be a thug. By definition a thug is "a cruel or vicious ruffian, robber, or murderer." Those are things that you don't learn, those are things that you experiment to get what you want or to get revenge. once one keeps trying and he figures out that he likes what he's doing and he does it constantly, that when he is considered a thug.